FAKE NEWS: Science Definitely Does NOT Explain Stuff

President Trump’s recent tweet declaring liberals idiots because global warming is fakey fake news has caused quite a stir on the left.

This is the tweet, which will go down in history as one of the wiserest statements ever made by a world leader:

The logic is so simple and beautiful that it’s causing the heads of “intellectuals” everywhere to explode. So far, liberal blogs and the mainstream media have published 11,703 articles and pieces of “scientific data,” (aka Soros bought ‘research’) that supposedly disprove the President’s statement.

Upon review, we found that what President Trump said can’t be debunked, because it’s just true. He said global warming would be nice — if it were true — but since the East Coast is colder than it ever has been, that’s just silly-nilly talk.

So that brings us to the big question: Does “science” explain stuff? We have to say…not really. All the gravity in the world doesn’t explain how Jesus rose to Heaven. No physics on Earth can explain the parting of the seas to save the Lord’s people. Why is it that when you divide the number of male bees in a hive by the number of female bees the number is always 1.617?

Science doesn’t explain much but the second law of thermodynamicals is clear: You can’t have something colder than that which is warmest.

We rate this claim complete and total bullhonkey.

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About Flagg Eagleton 37 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.