FACT-CHECK: Did Trump Have Kim Jong Un Assassinated In The Middle Of The Night?

Reports have been showering back channels of the internet all day alleging that Trump had Kim Jong Un assassinated last night. Sometime about 2 AM, which would have been just before lunch in Pyongyang, a sniper turned a man on the balcony of Kim Jong Un’s bedroom wearing his robe into a “cloud of pink mist.”

According to the report, Trump had grown tired of the little man’s antics and decided the world would be better off without him. A team from Seal Team Six, (DEVGRU Gold), set up inside a mile from the Presidential Palace and made the shot on the first try.

The palace was immediately closed down, along with the power grid, internet and cell service to the entire country. Ham radio operators have been talking to South Korea all day with reports of complete silence from Pyongyang.

If Kim is dead, the presidency would go to his son, who is eleven, after a “democratic election” with only one name on the ballot.

But, alas, this is all a big ol’ crock of doody, courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Liberal Troll. Not even a little bit true. We even called Kim Jong Un and told him we wanted to book him on a new show with Dennis Rodman. He was ecstatic. And definitely still alive.

Bullhonkey. Plain and simple.


About Flagg Eagleton 42 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.